Out on the streets last night, doing my job, and feeling good about wearing my new shirt. But, just when everything was going my way - Eric (photographer from KOIN) comes walking up, dressed exactly like me. Same shirt. Tshirt. Glasses. He even had a news camera slung over his shoulder. After that my entire night fell apart: had to edit our story in 20 minutes, fought with another (less cool) news crew over our live location, and pretty much ran around a few moments before our live shot trying to get ready. I blame Eric Patterson for all this happening, and that's why I stole his tripod.

A surreal moment
I was at a makeshift memorial for a man that was shot by the police on Sunday, and when I got up to the memorial it smelled like beer and everything around it was soaked. I was trying to figure out why, and before I knew it...a woman came walking up next to me with a 40oz bottle of malt liqour and poured it on the ground. I thought to myself, "No way," since that stuff only happens in music videos and movies. It's not that I didn't know that kind of stuff happened or whatever. It's just such a bad rap-video cliche that I didnt think it was such common practice. Well, as she stopped pouring the bottle she said, "Rest in peace, homey." - and I thought to myself (louder), "No fucking way!" I was ecstatic when I watched my footage later, and realized that I recorded the whole thing.

Links from my friend, Mac:
Vampires: Fact or fiction? [link]
I need a trunk monkey [link]

Today was stinger day.

At my station there's one surefire way to gauge what kid of day you're going to have - it's when you get assigned a "stinger" - especially right at the start of your shift.



A stinger is broadcasting slang for a portable microwave transmitter. For 90% of our live remotes we use large semi-automated TV vans with air conditioning and 50 ft masts to beam our signal over buildings and stuff. We get assigned stingers on days that all the trucks are in use elsewhere. And, since we're the airport crew, we got the stinger - which has its ups and downs. The good thing: we can go all over the place in an unmarked car, and not worry about everyone pointing and honking. The bad thing: RF microwave signals beaming us at ground level, only a few places to set-up, and about 50 thousand other little things.



Anyway, I had a long day, beginning with getting to a press conference late (as in, over). Then we got the stinger. The people for our second story never showed. Our main story was problematic. Then we had a stinger. And, right when my shift was about over..breaking news: murder in Vancouver (add another 2 hours).

..but it wasn't all that bad.
Although, along the way today, It had the right mix of fun to level it out. It was Wednesday (wednesday=comic book day). I turned in my entry for the Longbaugh festival contest. Found out that I won "Best Feature Photographer 2003" by the Oregon AP. And, had to got to eat at the airport Pandra Express.

And, as requested...
A shot of my latest Neighborhoodies shirt.



I got a really cool batch of shirts, and the service was top-notch. They even sent a handwritten letter with the order - Not to mention the very cool phone call (from Brooklyn, no less) to check over a detail in my order.

Links round-up:
1. Dawn of the Dead fans have something new to jerk to. [link]
2. Hasser's retarded comics get corporate sponsorship. [link] (Or, at least somthing else that might get him sued.)
3. Audio started a blog. My advice to him: get blogging, bitch. [link]
4. Marvel decides to get out a dead horse and start beating it again. [link] Bite me, Shatterstar.
5. Coke sponsored rover finds evidence of Dasani on Mars. [onion]

And the geek shall inherit the Earth.

I was having a moderately annoying day, but the sun was shining and the little things weren't worth fretting over. But, it all got better when I came across the premier issue of "Portland Geek Press" (at Backspace, of course). It was a cool little zine, filled with all the Star Trek and Middle Earth-ish references that you might expect. My favorite thing: a want ad for used D&D dice. Priceless. My only complaint: not enough robots. I might have to inquire about some freelance work over at the PGP [website - not working]. At this point I picture my girlfriend's sister, Karey reading all this and rolling her eyes, since she often reads my website and says, "He's such a dork." Yeah, well I don't see her with a collection of bad ass robots and comic books, now do we? Oh... hold on a sec...someone's whispering in my ear. Oh...I guess that's the stuff that makes me a dork. Fair enough.

Also, I had a delicious BBQ this last Saturday night, but it was all ruined because Seanbaby's BBQ monstrosity kept popping into my mind.

And thank you, Orange for giving me the props in your Dawn of the Dead review. And, thank you for you excessive use of the F word. Not enough reviews have it these days.

Talkers talk. Players get down to business.

Shot my entire Longbaugh contest entry in one day, and even though it isn't edited yet, I gotta tell you: it rules. When you combine the breakdancing talents of Angelo, and then throw in cameos by an eight year-old kid, the guy from the gas station, and a senior citizen talking like 50 Cent - pure magic. If you want to see LL and the crew throw down on the silver screen, come to the Longbaugh festival on Sunday, April 4th. Represent.

(insert crappy anarchist drumming sound here)
Tommorow is the one year anniversary of the big Portland melee between Portland Police, peaceful protestors, and a handful of nasty-smell-fucktard protestors. I barely dodged the bullet, and got out of coming in for the demonstations, but I'm sitting in standby in case everything goes to hell. Last year it reminded me of Black Hawk Down. We were out there in the thick of it all day, getting divided and walking through an endless maze of barricades, and then had to stay out there all night - while the station sent runners with food and needed supplies (and then they got caught up in it). I later ended up getting jabbed in the ribs really hard with police batons and inhaling pepper spray, and then worked my way up to a rooftop where I sent live pics to CNN and FOX while doing phone interviews with the station. *whew* Goodtimes. I admire what the kids are doing, but I'd rather be anywhere but there with them.

Got my neighborhoodies in the mail today! And, let me tell you: they rule. Photos forthcoming.

Hasser made some South Park cartoon version of us and the LXD. Wonder how long he can make these cartoons of us before being sued.

New favorite band: Peplab

Oh man.

I played hooky today and went to an advance screening of the "Dawn of the Dead" remake. Which was awesome. I don't really do movie reviews, since this ins't a movie review weblog. But, I have to tell you - it was non-stop zombie action-horror-humor, with all right twists and "oh man, that fucking rocked!" moments thoughout. There's been a lot of haters out there bashing James Gunn for writing the sequel (not me, because I loved his book, and The Specials), but he'll be vindicated when it makes a trillion dollars and gets honored in the Most Kick-ass Moves Ever Hall of Fame.


And in other news...
Tonight at midnight, I officially begin my short film for the Longbaugh Film Festival (April 2, 3, & 4). They give you just over a week, starting tommorow, to completely make a short video incorportaing the theme, Scenes from the City - whatever that means. To me, it means: breakdancing. Lots of breakdancing. After tonight's film excursion, I want to make another zombie movie (but I had that in Longbaugh last year).

Fate is a cruel, cruel bitch.

So, yesterday I'm on a mission to get a photo of the elusive "Neo" at the comic book store (see yesterday's post below). I get there early, get my digital camera all set up, but he doesn't show. Some strange cosmic forces were conspiring against me. How do I know?

Well, at that exact moment, across town, Britney Spears is walking in front of my apartment - at the time I would have been walking out to my car. But, I'm not there! Why? I'm at the comic book store EARLY so I can take a picture of a guy in a Matrix costume for my website.

Above are some screenshots from Fox 12 last night. Some aspiring videographer whipped out his DV cam and got some terrific video of her (and her Refrigertor-Perry-like bodyguard) shopping on NW 23rd. Here's an insider POV for you: One thing you didn't hear on air last night was the commentary of his friend, or some guy in close proximity to him saying, "Oh man. Oh. Look at that ass! Damn. Look at that ass!" They couldn't really use the audio for broadcast.

Anyway. I don't really know what I would've done if I did cross her path. It's not like I'd try to make out with her. I'd probably smile, or say something witty retarded. But, most likely I would've thrown my newscam over my shoulder and shot some video (while trying not to say "look at that ass!" or something of that nature in my nat sound mic). Despite all the bad press lately, I think she's a nice girl, and I hope she has a great concert in town tonight. And maybe, in some parallel universe there's a website - very similar to mine - with a photo of her posing with my tin robot, or a the very least a photo of "Neo" in the comic book store, so I can finally get on with my life damn weblog.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orange forever.
Despite his recent rants about me - in reviews for films like Gothika, no less - I'm still a big fan of his celebrity interviews and film reviews. B. Alan Orange finally got his own column page again at MovieWeb, so I thought I'd make it official and throw up some links. And while I'm at it: You need to check out his film reviews, they're pure genius; especially Lord of the Rings (which garnered NO STARS from him). You'll have to type his name in the search bar at the top of the page since their navigation is retarded, but it's worth it when you get a long list of insane Orange reviews.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longbough 2
David Walker and Willamette Week are throwing the second annual Longbough Film Festival next month, and I was just lamenting about how I won't have a film on the roster this year...or will I? I was just informed of the short film contest, and I have to tell you: game on.

A somber spring day.
Found out that a guy from another TV station was found dead this morning. The coroner's haven't told anyone the cause or anything yet - although it seems like he passed away in his sleep. He was around 45, and was probably one of the nicest and most well respected people around. I saw him a few weeks ago at the all-station karaoke battle, and he was really cool, as always. I've only met him like a half-dozen times, but it's sad to think that no one will ever talk to him again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



File under: WTF?
Hasser gave me a link to some robot toy collector forum. Go there and check it out - it's like dropping in on some creepy robot fetishists talking about wanking off to robot porn.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must find The Chosen One.

For those of you who know me, you may have heard me talk about "Neo" - he's a guy who shows up at Excalibur comics every Wednesday when the new comics hit the shelves - with all the other geeks (and me). Every time I describe him, he sounds worse, but here goes: He's a nerdy, acne scarred dude who wears the "pseudo-Asian-man-dress" from The Matrix. I know it's from the Matrix because NO ONE HAS EVER WORN ONE BEFORE THE MATRIX. Anyway, he peruses the new comics while holding his thumbs and index fingers together like Mr. Spock or Morpheus when they're lost in deep thought - and he stands with his legs apart, in a wide tai-chi stance, channeling eastern philosophy and looking for the latest issue of Catwoman. The worst part: Neo wears blue JEANS with his Neo outfit. Fucking blue jeans? C'mon, Neo, you got the man dress. Get some slacks.

Today, I will get his photo in the comic book store. I've tried for the last few weeks, but my attempts have always been foiled. I wish I could think of something cool to say about it like Morpheus, but I'll just end with: I'm taking my digital camera, wish me luck.

I didn't even have to use my AK. Today was a good day.

The sun was shining. I had an easy day at work. My reporter and I lucked out and got the "gas prices story." We did lots of interviews, came up with a new angle, but in the end - it was 2 minutes of people at gas pumps complaining about stuff.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is coming out on DVD in a few short months. Three months sooner than expected.

Shiver me timbers. Pass the hushpuppies.
Went to the first Long John Silvers in the area (if not, the state) today for lunch. It was basically a bunch of us who grew up on it in other states, and needed to satiate our desire for greasy hushpuppies. The food was yummy, but it just wasn't the same Long John Silvers that I remember as a kid. First of all, all the kids are calling it "LJS" now, and it shares a room with the also marginialized, A&W resturant. All the colors are bright and the store has a hip (circa 1991) look to it. But, despite all the changes - they still give out paper pirate hats.

Links roundup:
1) Need a more urban word processor? Buy this.
2) Superbowl Hafltime Barbie up for auction.
3) Where is the "Gay Apocalypse"?
4) I'm gonna set up my own survellience satellite - like in "Enemy of the State."

Thirty days until I'm 30.

Well, it was on Friday when I was going to post this, but I decided to wait a few days. So now, it's like 28 days until I'm 30 - which doesn't sound as catchy. It doesn't matter anyway. I was in some weird 'examining my life' thing on Friday, but i'm over it by now. I don't really feel any older, but I definitely can't collect as many straws as I used to.



But, that didn't stop me from having a little drink called the "Irish Car Bomb" last night. I was up in Seattle, checking out the town out, and catching up with friends. And even though we were in a different town, and wanted to try new things, we ended up going to Kells - just like in Portland. I was really disappointed when they had already ran out of Smithwicks ale (pronounced "schmiddicks" by those who know *wink*), so I had the 'car bomb'. It's one of those drinks, where you pour in more drinks, and then quickly drink it while people chant- and it pours all over you.

Good times.

Sometimes I wish I could just sit and stare at color bars.



Sweeps is finally over! I really worked my butt off for two weeks on Perverted-Justice stings and other stuff, yet this ratings period seemed to be kinda slow. But, It really picked up in the last few days here in Portland with the county's approval of same-sex marriages. We had a discussion in our afternoon news meeting, that very day, that there should've been some big, breaking news story this month. And then...BANG...breaking news.

It's been a real eye opening experience to see how everyone has reacted, both at work and in the community. All the field crews have been assigned to go get "person on the street" interivews for our newscast. Each of us were in a different part of town, and in the Pearl district, Kelley and I were having a rough time finding anyone AGAINST it, but at the very same moment - near Beaverton - another crew was having a difficult time interviewing people FOR it. Oh...and, today outside an Applebee's one guy we interviewed just went on an insane rant about Noah's Ark and all sorts of weird-ass stuff. Sometimes when religious folks, go on a crazy bible rants and mix in some stories about the Ark, Jesus tearing up a casino, or people turning into salt, it makes me wonder about how I would look to someone explaining a chapter from Lord of the Rings or Dune, as a reason why two adults can't get married. But, even though I feel one way about the issue, we still get everyone's POV and put it out there (on TV).

Okay, enough about all that. This isn't a political-whatever blog.
I've been really busy this week, and here's some of the things I didn't have time to post:

Wanted (by Hollywood)
Mike Millar's comic, Wanted has aready been optioned as a feature film by Unversal- and there's only been two issues! The thing that totally sold it: the main character totally looks like Eminem. Basically, it's about a loser who inhereits a massive fortune when his father (that he never knew) dies, but it turns out his father was one of the world's top super villians. Fun stuff.

Hasser's stolen truck.
He parked it at work, and it wasn't there when he got back. Needless, to say: he's upset. I feel kinda guilty still because I didn't hear Hasser calling my cell phone right after it happened, hoping for my help. I miss that truck - it's something I've always assosciated with him, and now it might not come back.



And, I just realized that now he doesn't have a car in real life - or a speeder bike in Star Wars Galaxies either (like Melinda and I do).

OR Blogs and the like.
Recent surveys have indicated that blogging isn't as wildly rampant as bloggers would like to believe it is, but I really don't care. I've been on OR Blogs for a few months now, but haven't until recently become totally obsessed with it. In the beginning there were a few blogs that I really related to (and blogrolled), and the others just weren't my thing. But, I gotta tell you: I can't go a day now without checking in with Bog, WWP, or even Chuck - people whom I (at first glance) have nothing in common with, but totally come to respect.

Wonder Woman: Battle of Justice
Bryan from the LXD sent me this link to a fan produced Wonder Woman short film - along with this review:
"It’s uncommonly bad and would have worked better as a porno, considering the level of acting talent and the fact that it features a chick in a Wonder Woman costume. But still, you should watch it just once, if only to see how many “whoosh” sound effects you can fit into a six-minute movie if you really apply yourself." and then Seanbaby (who has a WW fetish) added his review, "Holy shit that sucked. It was so bad I had trouble jerking off to it." Harsh reviews. Go see for yourself [i-film].

One film to win them all.
I lost the office Academy Awards pool last night, but only by one point! It was a slight relief though, since I organized it, and didn't want be accused of fraud in the event that I won. But, you know why I lost? At the last minute I picked that song from A Mighty Wind because I thought it was funny. Damn that Mitch and Mickey (whom I keep calling Mickey and Mallory, from Natural Born Killers, by accident). I was thrilled that LOTR was a clean sweep at the ceremony, but my girlfriend still refuses to have anything to do with it (because she's scared of the Gollum...and the Elijah Wood).

The New Modern Catchphrase

Late last week Hasser started a new feature on his website. He takes old photos of his friends and coworkers and puts retarded captions to them, calling it "HasserVision's Lame Comics." So, since I've been photoshopped numerous times by Hasser, I decided to implement a similar feature on my page - using only Hasser. From now on he will only be saying the new catchphrase I selected for him. Soon to be gracing the front of T-shirts and coffee mugs everywhere, no doubt.