Fitting a Fred Meyer shopping cart in the elevator at my apartment complex wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be, but I had to stick with my plan. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me. I left the apartment and located an abandoned shopping cart, and then grabbed it and swiftly plowed into the basement entrance, much to the chagrin of the USPS letter carrier that I nearly ran over. From there it was a tricky maneuver to get the cart into the Sudden Death Elevator.

But the effort was all worth it. You see, the cans and bottles in our apartment had been getting out of control for a while now. Back in December I was going to meet a nice homeless person and give them a ton of stuff, but it didn't quite work out - I'm lazy, and the transients around my building are none-too-friendly. So, for the last few MONTHS the pile got bigger and bigger. And my girlfriend's nagging about it got louder and louder. Something had to be done - and today was the day.

Now, I have no idea how people even get the shopping carts all the way up to NW 23rd, since they have those damn locking wheel mechanisms installed. It was enough trouble maneuvering through the apartment building, and then into my apartment.
And of course, there's the motion alarm. When the carts pass the parking lot perimeter at Fred Meyer the cart starts beeping whenever the 'special wheel' moves - which for a shopping cart is near-always. MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP!
I hear those damn wheel alarms from blocks away at night, so I can imagine that my neighbors were in their apartments going, "What the fuck?" as I drove it through the hallway. MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! And KyAnn, looked half-shocked (and possibly half-impressed) when she saw the stolen cart in the kitchen.



But, when it was all loaded up taken back down to the sidewalk, phase two had begun. So, I made my perilous trek down several long blocks. MEEEP-MERP! MEEEP-MERP! All the while looking like a soon-to-be really wealthy homeless guy. MEEEP-MERP! Some people gave me disapporving glances, but most people laughed at me as I tried desperatlely to drag the beeping cart, while fighting against the locking wheel.

Phase Three. When I started working the can machine, I was a siren song for homeless guys to come running. A few passed by and watched me recycle the cans, and I know one guy was sizing-up whether or not he could grab my can bags and run. Eventually, it was just me and my new friend Homeless Jack. He was quite helpful in pointing out which items wouldn't make it through the machine, and a few pointers on how to cheat the machine, as well. In the end, I gave him around $9 of the refund money, and kept the other half for myself. And with that money, I bought a cold can of beer, and drank it all the way home, as a reward for a hard morning's work.

Um...so, I met a vampire yesterday. Well, she claimed to be one, anyway. It was for an upcoming news feature on people who are REALLY into vampire mythology - maybe too much. We met her in the park (in full daylight), and then set up for the interview. She wanted us to conceal her identity, so that her kind isn't persecuted any more than they are already, I imagine.
During the interview it was revealed that she became a vampire (through some sort of mysterious awakening process, which involved neither bloodletting nor intercourse) and now she 'feeds off the energy of others' - think of it as a new-age vampire who eats auras and people's chi, or whatever. And while she doesn't require sucking blood from someone, there's the occasional feeding off a willing partner. Oh! I just remembered: the awakening process that turned her into a vampire was her basically reading about psychic vampires on the internet and then realizing that she might be one. So, If you'll excuse me...I need to go read about ninjas, I might very well turn out to be one. Wouldn't that be rad?

Other weird stuff:

I couldn't find a link to it, but the Raelians are going to clone the long extinct wooly mammoth as an attraction at their UFOland theme park. Here's an excerpt from their press release:
"His Holiness RAEL, spiritual leader of the Raelian movement, proposed to Dr. Brigitte Boisselier, head of the cloning project who made world headlines in January 2003 by announcing the birth of the first human clone, to clone a “woolly mammoth” from remains recently found in Siberia by the French scientist Bernard Buigues."
No more summer vegas trips for me. I'm gonna ride on the back of one of those majestic beasts with a PBR in my hand, and a ninja sword in the other.

Make your own Michael Jackson face, and then feel ashamed.

Chronicles of Riddick animated prequel on DVD? And there's a video game too! Sweet!

I just made a list for myself of all the things I need to get done this week, and let me tell you: there's a ton. Will I get all of it, or any of it done? That remains to be seen. It would be so much easier if I didn't play MMORPGs all the time.



At midnight tonight, City of Heroes is set to launch, and while I think it'll be fun...I just have too many online games in my life. I play a heck of a lot of Star Wars Galaxies, and the space travel expansion was officially announced this week. I still play pay for Everquest becuase I can't bring myself to kill off Loveknife - "Norraths' Greatest Bard and Champion of the People". And, when Everquest 2 comes out (or as some are now calling it, the greatest online game EVER) I'll have to face the fact that I'm gonna have to pull the plug on Jodakai - "Space Preacer who teaches the word of the Force with a Rifle." [see above photo]. I'm not worried about the monthly service charges, I just don't even have the time. And believe me, all I want to do is make the time. I'm worried about killing off my imaginary online personas. It'll be like that movie Identity with John Cusack, where the deranged mental patient has to kill off all his other multiple personalities in his head to survive (sorry for just ruining the film for those of you who haven't seen it).

I'm sure nobody but me and the online game geeks want to read about this. I remember Seanbaby going off about this once in an article (scroll down to the #4 on the list), and I know it was about me. Fucker.

Speaking of Star Wars...
The Star Wars Kid has been photoshopped again. This time into the Kill Bill Teaser trailer [video link].

And there was an insane ebay auction for a custom made Star Destroyer. Imagine the shipping costs on that thing (from England, no less).

What did the five fingers say to the face?
New shirt for all you "I'm Rick James, Bitch!"fans. And, this one, as well. T-shirts are fine, but boxer shorts might be going to far.

Rick James soundboard. Takes a while to load, kinda-sorta worth the wait.

Other links:
I'm gonna start leaving ebay feedback, like this guy does.

Just got back from the AP Awards at the coast. It was held at Salisham, a uber-rad golf course resort. I would;ve updated my littlelostblog here, but apparently Blogger and my webmail were the only two things blocked by their firewall. Porn, no problem.

I had plenty of time to relax and reflect on the past week at work, and came to realize that it was completely random and weird:

Sunday: Shot a cool story on Hip Chicks Do Wine. Ran around town getting shots of child molestor, Edward Stokes as he was driven around by police to the AMBULANCE that he bought, for unknown reasons 9although we can speculate since they pulled a used mattress out fo it). At the end of the night, went and took shots of a home invasion.

Monday: Went back to the home invasion place from the night before, and the lady that lived there showed us her semi-legal marijuana grow operation in the basement. [see Tuesday's post]



Tuesday: Ran into Pavel Goberman, a Russian immigrant who was kind enough to do push-ups for the camera, to illustrate his determination and endurance as a future United States Senator. Then, we were off to do a story on a hip hop dance class in the suburbs.

Wednesday: Got up early in the morning and shot a story about a guy who does oil paintings of people's dogs. I edited the story on the wine hotties. Then, went and interviewed a lady who found, and took home a wandering domesticated goose.

Thursday: Was sent to Salem, and photographed an apartment complex covered with mildew and crawling with huge rats. Then, drove two blocks and interviewed people about a house that got shot up the night before. I was threatened with bodily harm, twice during that assignment. Goodtimes.

Ok, I'm done. Enough of the 'this was my week' stuff.

Misc stuff:

City of Heroes is a day-or-so away. Not like I'll have time to play, since I'm addicted to SWG. But, reading these reviews, might change my mind.

Haven't fully tested the new Ice Rocket mega search engine, but Gorilla Mask makes an enticing offer for webmasters who help spread the word.

It's 98% official: LLR will be rocking faces this year at E3 with Bryan and Seanbaby. Form two lines when I arrive: Dudes to the left, for high fives. Chicks to the right, for make-outs.

I got a little story to tell you, but I gotta be careful, since it relates to work. Although, I'm very careful about telling too much, or saying anything bad about coworkers. People get fired over their blogs, you know. Case in point: The Sarcastic Journalist - fired recently for telling way too much in her blog. So the following story is heavily edited.

Today my reporter and I went to the house of a home invasion. I was there the night before taking shots of the crime tape. Today we did the follow-up story. Some masked guys barged in a house, there was a scuffle, and the resident got shot. Today we learned that the guys that broke in thought it was a drug house or something. We went to the house, did an interview with the home owner, and then (amazingly) she showed us her marijuana grow operation in the basement (they have it for medicinal purposes). It's hard enough to get people to talk on camera, so going into the basement to check out the marijuana plants is pretty much off the map. So we went downstairs and took photos of the pot. And, while I suspect there was more, we saw plenty of stuff. [pop-up video link] There was more that I was allowed to shoot, but didn't have the space to put in the story (including a soundbite where she wanted us to tell everyone to, "smoke more weed!"). It's only Monday and the week is already getting weird - I love it. [And yes, I noticed the date today, dirty hippies.]



Links Du Jour:
I'm still not sure if he's a spambot, but this nice, robot-loving guy emailed me to tell me
about his t-shirts for sale.

Client remixes are available for around $1.85 each. My favorite song of last year: Rock-n-Roll Machine. I still listen to it over-and-over every day.

I have well over 30 Depeche Mode tribute albums, and somehow I missed this one.

Was surfing and noticed that Hemingway's short film, "GoodBye Mr. Feingold" (that I wrote) is still on I-film.

Want ads:
I am doing an insane relaunch of LLR at the end of the month. I'm looking for two things: 1) someone that has Cleaner XL, and/or can help me stream some high quality/low badwidth short films. 2) Maybe, someone who I can commission for a comic book-like-robot-related-color-cartoon.

Now children everywhere can recreate the most memorable moments from Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction - thanks to NECA's new line of Pulp Fiction Geoms! I saw these the other day in the comic book store, but was so focused on finding back isses of Planetary that I didn't have time to fully appreciate them. Obviously a product like this has a appeal to a somewhat cult following - which is why I was so amused to see some little reinactments with the toys on Neca's website. [see below]



In other news:
Real Life Transformer! [link courtesy of Nate]
Mormon bishop turns Raelian.
Haven't seen The Punisher. Some reviews, however describe it (as a negative) just how dark and violent it is. Maybe I will give it a chance, afterall.
Dawn of the Dead: special special edition.
Hasser reaches the brink of sanity in his last series of posts.

I never post memes, but here's my player handle:



Pimp Name Generator. What did it give you?

At the end of last week I left my wide angle lens in one of the station's live vans, and when I came looking for it the next day - it was gone! I figured that it was just misplaced, but as the days kept comin' without any sign of it, I began to get worried. Really worried. Myreporter, Kelley finally had to ask me the hard question, "What are you gonna do if you don't find it?" I had no answer. How do you answer something like that in such a grief stricken state? Before long, I had to start coming to terms with not having my precious wide angle (actually it's a double-wide angle) lens in my life any longer.



But, I no longer have to entertain such morbid thoughts - my lens has came back to me. It's amazing what leaving notes and emails all over will do. I "magically" found it back in the very same truck that I left it, as if I never looked there a dozen times. However, I'm not asking any questions - I got my baby back, and that's all I care about. Maybe he was on a little Benji-like adventure for a few days, and finally found his way home.



The wide angle lens is basically a tool for getting large objects (like buildings and landscape) into frame. It's really handy when you want to get really close to something, or cram more of information onto the screen. And, if there's one thing I like doing: cramming lots of things onto the screen.



Now, some photographers would call the more-than-frequent use of a 'wide eye' as a "bit of a sickness", and I'm not disagreeing with them. Once you've tasted the divine, awesome power of a super wide angle lens, it's hard not to find creative excuses ways to keep using it. Although, in news you can't use the lens for everything, since there are sensitive situations when it probably isn't appropiate. Anyway, I don't feel all that guilty about it since there are a bunch photogs around here that use wide eyes regularly (but you can always tell it's me - because it's in focus, biatch!). Below is an example of my lens' sublime power:



I think we can all agree which one is more kick-ass. For the record: I shoot all kinds of stuff without it. The footage looks great, awards have changed hands, and I can (mostly) make it through a day without using it - so shut up.


In other news:
Finally a Jesus action figure with Kung-Fu grip [link courtesy of Hasser].
LLR's Darwin Award nominee(s) for 2004 [link]
Great news! Like any of you geeks have a chance.
I-film's latest star wars fan film. The score so far: Geeks 1,257, Lucas 3
What can you make the subservient chicken do? I make him do the robot.

As I went about my work in my edit bay, I overheard some groaning and disgusted laughter out amongst the cubicles. I popped my head out and saw everyone gathered around a television watching the Nick and Jessica Variety Hour on ABC. And while everyone made comments like: "This is so retarded" or "How did these people get a show...another show?" and "Why is Jessica Simpson dressed like Dolly Pardon?" - I noticed that fifteen minutes later, everyone was still watching it.



Actually, the news room has like 20-something television sets dispersed throughout the room, and MOST of them had Jessica and Nick on them. So that means people complained about the show and then went and turned it on near their desks. I did the same thing, and sat captivated as Nick Lachey sang "Just the Two of Us" with none other than, KITT, THE CAR FROM KNIGHT RIDER! WTF?! Other "celebrity" guests included: Muppets, Kenny Rodgers, Jewel, and Mr. T (again: WTF?!).

Hooked on Deadwood
I've become obsessed with the new HBO series, Deadwood. Basically, it's a historical drama series about a brutal, lawless town in the old west. The show is pretty much like HBO's Oz, but with less shivs and prison ass-rape. I started looking up stuff about the history of Deadwood on the internet, and stumbled into all kinds of terrible spoliers. Damn history books! I've been putting off watching tonight's episode because I know that Wild Bill Hickock is gonna die, and even though he's been dead for over like 120 years - I find myself putting it off because I don't want him to die just yet.

The best worst of times. It was the worst of times.
You know that newsroom morale has got to be low when people make a website like this about their news director. Just another reason why I'm glad I don't work at KATU.

Robot invasions and reservations.
Saw the trailer for Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow this weekend, and I can't wait for this movie to come out. Just the sight of giant 50's robots tearing down a city is worth the price of admission (and then there's Angelina Jolie, as well). Whereas, I, Robot aims to be the one movie that wants to piss me off this summer. I (mostly) don't mind Will Smith in the movie, but it ain't the Asimov story I remember.

I came up with an idea for a zombie movie on Sunday, and I already started working on the script - until I saw that EXACT SAME THING just got optioned by Lions Gate today. Granted, mine isn't a comedy, and the plot details mostly different (except for the planes and zombies part), but now it's not even....mine. *sigh* Moving on.

Links round-up:
Listen to THIS - and then go buy the album.
The only Unreal Tournament 2004 mod endorsed by Jesus!
The Exorcist in 30 seconds (with bunnies).
Mary-Kate and Ashley get slimed.
The new Batmobile is the coolest thing I've ever seen (apart from the Olsen twins getting slimed).
Finger flushed down toilet.

I was strolling down the street and froze when I saw this poster: [see below]



How is Halou in Portland tonight, and I had no idea? And, of course my vacation is now officially over, so I can't go. But, right now I find myself scheming of ways to get to the show after work - and barring breaking news, and out-of-town live shots, I'm gonna do it.

But, more importantly: you should go. That's right. You should go see them at Dante's tonight (9PM). Not because they're going to be "the next big thing" and you'll be getting in on the ground floor (although that's true). You should go for the most intimate, heartfelt show you'll see all year.



I took this photo of Rebecca from Halou, last summer [see above]. They played at the Holoscene, but it was a Sunday during the Rose Festival and there wasn't a very big turnout. But, those who went to the show became fans forever. Halou doesn't just put on a show. They have such great production value, from the extra band members to the simultaneous video screen - that doesn't just play behind the vocalist, but compliments her performance. Not that she needs it. Rebecca has the most amazing voice ever (since Dido, or something). Anyway...I could go on forever. Just do me a favor. Do Halou a favor. Do yourself a favor, and go see the show.

And in other news...
Farscape is back!
Damn! Ebert really liked Hellboy. 3.5 stars.
Not that I need them, but Xbox finally made a pretty comprehensive cheats page.

Just got back from the beach last night, where I celebrated my 30th birthday (along with Angelo's 27th, and Julie's 30th). Here's the cake to prove it.



The LXD went all-out and got a massive beach house, and drank out of sharps-disposal containers all weekend.

Naturally, our drinks tasted like AIDS.

I don't know if I feel thirty. It's not like that's really old, you know? Besides, I still act like an eighth-grader half the time anyway. I don't really feel any older - just fatter. I think the only time where I was all quiet and introspective was when I ditched everyone at the casino and played bingo for 2+ hours - where the old ladies at my table all but told me to 'shut up' because I was screwing with thier bingo mojo. Anyway, someone told me that I'm not technically in my thirties until I'm 31 due to some precise calender-science rule. Whatever. I say "If your age begins with the word THIRTY, then you're in your thirties." But, judging by my first few days of it - it's not all that bad anyway.

[more photos] [and probably many more getting posted soon here]

And in other news:
Oh, and in case you were wondering. We didn't win the Longbaugh short video contest. I guess Portland really doesn't love the players after all. Bizungle. (I'll put the film up, as soon as I figure out how to get it into a suitable video clip - anyone have ideas?).

Today's random link from Mac:
Watch Skeletor shake his ass [link]