First of all, there's no spoliers here - and this isn't really a review, either.
Okay, here goes:



Last night some friends and I went to the midnight showing of M. Night Shyamalan's The Village. During a particularly emotional scene between Sigourney Weaver, and her son (played by Joaquin Phoenix) I noticed the boom mic at the top of the screen. I thought to myself, "Look at me, I'm so smart to notice stuff like that." Well, as the movie went on, I noticed a few more times and started to wonder if it was part of the movie. You know how Shyamalan like to put clues throughout the film. So, that when the big twist ending comes, you say "I should've known!"


(This is my Wagnerian photoshopped version of what I saw.)

As the film went on everyone else in the theater was whispering every time the microphone came into view. It was so bad in some scenes that it HAD TO BE part of the movie. I was thinking to myself, Maybe everyone in the the Village is part of a reality TV show." Anyway, it got so bad that people were laughing. And, this was during scenes where a lot of really good emotional acting was taking place.
So the move goes along, and had its twists and turns. Then it's over. And the boom mic had nothing to do with it. I was so weirdly-mad-freaked-out that I found a manager and told him that the film was cropped wrong or something.
I was talking really fast, and using big hand gestures to describe the boom mics at the top of the screen. He looked genuinely concerned, but also sorta weirded out by my cornering him near the ticket counter with all of this.

So, now the question is: What the heck was going on? I guess it was cropped wrong or something, since I noticed a boom mic during a trailer for that Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah movie too. So, if you go to Regal Lloyd Cinema - watch out.

Other than that: loved it.

My schedule has been crazy the last few days, and not having a working laptop didn't help the blogging effort any. Not that you totally care, but I'll take the next few minutes to document what I've been doing - luckily, this is a blog, so I get away with this kind of thing.

Tuesday:
"Mail for Grabs" [video link]
The station ran our 'undercover' piece about negligence on the part of postal workers - which I shot. They leave their mail carts sitting outside on the sidewalk unguarded for minutes, while the letter carriers go into apartment buildings to deliver mail. With all the meth crime, and ID theft that's going on these days, it's not such a great idea. And, since I live in the area - I've been snapping lots of photos, and video. I think this picture says it all (note the box of checks on top):



Wednesday/Thursday: 
"Arlington Plane Crash" [video link]
Right when I got to work, I was sent right back out the door to respond the a plane crash in Eastern Oregon. As my reporter and I drove (way to fast) to the crash site, we learned that the crash was two F-18 Naval Fighters that were doing dogfight maneuvers, and banged into each other. So, instantly it became national news. We did live shots for our affiliates in various parts of the US, and tried to take all the pictures that the US Military would allow (and it wasn't all that much). Luckily, a devoted Fox12 viewer was THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED, shot the whole thing, and delivered it to our station 2 hours away. How's that for service?   With that, and four different teams on the story, we pretty much dominated the coverage that night. But, don't tell the other stations in town - they all think they won too.

[HERE'S A FUNNY SIDE-STORY: On the second day, the military REALLY took over. For the most part, they were pretty cooperative with the media. They tried to control much of what we could take pictures of. Mainly they didn't want us taking too many shots of the wreckage. On one occasion a commander-type came over to the media-circus area and said that they would lead a group of photographers near the military camp to take pictures of dive teams. They had us wait for a little while and then lead us over to a shoreline to take our photos, but under very strict orders not to take photos in any other direction. Well, the dive team didn't really do anything interesting (including diving), so we got escorted back to the media camp fifteen minutes later. One of the militay guys was all, "Hmm. That was odd. I wonder why nothing was going on out there."

Well, it turns out: while all the photographers were away supposedly shooting dive teams, the military drove a huge truck filled with wreckage into the military camp. Total misdirection. And, it might've been a coincidence, but the way that had us waiting-moving-waiting made it all to obvious that is wasn't.]

Oh! And on the same night my station aired this weird Botox story I shot - about women getting Botox in their armpits to avoid sweating on their wedding day [video link].

Friday:
My schedule has officially changed, and now I'm no longer part of the Friday...um...'Friday day off crew.' It sucks, but I let the bosses change my schedule for the war effort and all. And, I agreed to work on the UPN Street Team this weekend - that should be interesting.

What else? We ran the second part of our "Inside the Casino" features. In this one, we get to go in the money vault [video link].  Aww yeah.

Okay, gonna go now. I have to go catch up in City of Heroes. Paragon City needs me.

Fire Season 2004 is officially here this week. That means that I'll be sent off to some random small town in Oregon and spend a week (or two) eating dirt and watching firefighters running from flames and digging lots of holes. Today I made sure that my fire gear bag (and corporate credit card) was ready to go on an adventure. 
 
Here's a visual overview of my gear: 
 

 
There's a bunch more junk, but I'd like to spend the rest of this post talking about the thing that distresses me the most: the emergency fire blanket.
 
Occasionally firefighters - and fire enthusiasts - will find themselves in a situation where they will find a huge wall of flames is approaching quickly, and can't make it to the truck in time to drive away. Personally, I'll get as close to the action as I possibly can, but also try remember that I have a zoom lens - making it possible to stay shoot from a safer distance (near the truck). Every year I get all paranoid when I pack the fire blanket, and say to myself, "I better not have to f--king use this." 
 
Here's an illustration (using Tokibot) of the fire blanket in action:
 

 
I pray for rain. Lots of rain. 
  

Talking advantage of the DSLR I rented for work, I also put it to good use on some robot photos. This (or a better version) will be in my hopefully-upcoming gallery show - screened onto a giant canvas. I took a ton of different versions, yet the little diorama was ultimately inspired by the greatest American film of all time, Citizen Kane.



Which I think was almost beat by the next greatest film, Dawn of the Dead. Although, I don't know how I would do a robot diorama of that without having to smash up some 'bots.

Okay, gotta go. I'm on an "undercover investigation" in a few hours.

Late last week I was charged with taking image photos of all the on-air talent at our station - or "lens meat" as I like to call them. Now, usually the station would hire a professional photographer and spend a ton of money on an all day photo shoot. Instead, they 'hired' me and saved some cash. And, technically, I am a professional photographer, so I guess it's all the same anyway.
I rented a really expensive digital SLR camera on my corporate card [which cost me a $1k deposit!] and assumed the role of studio photographer, complete with sassy techno music and an ubiquitous white wall. I put the camera on rapid fire and ended up with well over a thousand photos, and a 6GB lump on my hard drive.



I also ended up with a bunch of outtakes. I didn't think about it at the time, but this photo [above] reminds me of all the anchor fighting in Anchorman. It'd be cool to see these two throw down in the newsroom: Shauna's got the initiave in this picture, but I think Wayne would still be a formidable opponent.

Speaking of Anchorman...Will ferrel crashes the MSNBC set. [MSN video link]

Eye in the Sky:
You may remember me telling you about our adventure at the casino last month. Well, we aired the first of my "Inside the Casino" segments this week. Here's a temporary [video link] story.

That is all for now. Tommorow I will show you what else I shot with that camera. How's that for a teaser?

I've been there, believe me. You're all set up at a press conference and some dumbass radio reporter, or photographer from another station stands in front of your camera - ruining your shot. It's mildy annoying when it happens, but it can be downright infuriating when it happens live.

Well, after a Washington DC press conference, a CBS photographer decided that he had enough. I've prepared this slide show for you [and there's a video link too]:

The scrappy little photographer approaches, and then attacks a New York Post guy leaving the press conference.


Of course, the guy wants to know why he just got attacked. The photographer mumbles stuff about messing up their shot earlier.


The other guy responds, "You're crazy!" and the photog jumps at him and with a throat hold, and some little punches with the other hand.


This shot lasts all of .000001 seconds where the other guy maybe considered turning the other cheek.


But, rationality is thrown out the door, as he counter attacks...


...driving the little guy back across the room into a row of chairs - which didn't look that comfortable to sit in, let alone have poking you in the ribs.


The fight gets broken up, but the little CBS dude continues to talk trash.


I gotta tell you. I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. When I get burned at in a media-circus situation, I've perfected a look that I give the other stations' crews. I wish I had a picture to show you, but if I were to describe it - it'd be: 60% contempt, 20% barely contained rage, 15% holier-than-thou-art, and 5% i'll-get-you-back-later-bitch.

Anyway, I almost forgot to mention:
Here's the video [real media] clip: post press conference brawl

So, let me get this straight: In I, Robot the robots have a pleasant blue 'heart-light', but when they want to kill Will Smith, it turns red? Uh huh. That's just neat. All the movie needs now is a classic Will Smith catch phrase like, "Oh, Hell no!" when something bad happens.

Maybe, I'm being to hard on the movie (which, I haven't even seen), but even if it is good - it still will be nothing as awesome as Anchorman! I hear talk in my newsroom of a field trip one day before work to see it (again, for many folks).


Other robot rant stuff:

Screw, Asimo - this robot can do karate, and is far less frighteningly pan-sexual. [danyk]

It's a small consumer base, but there's a mechanic/doctor that fixes used Real Dolls - semi-androidic sex toys. One word: Ewww. Also, would that void the warranty to get third-party repairs? [via utterlyboring]


When did crap like this become magic?



I can understand being trapped in a coffin underwater could be thrilling as a death defying trick. But, there has to be lingering DEATH involved! This Midwest guy, sits in this underwater coffin, and occasionally gets out to to have a 2 hour lunch - all in the name of charity, of course.

David Blaine's latest trick was to sit in a big glass cube in London for a few weeks - which is odd because David Blaine can do amazing magic tricks, so why bother with the retarded stuff? I guess that magic has become to largely ignored by the media, so the only way to get press is...anti-magic, if you will (and getting mauled by tigers). We gotta stop covering this stuff, so that they can get back to the all the smoke and mirrors, rather than the sitting and starving.

[updated 10 minutes later]
Okay, I found a death defying coffin escape - it's a start.


This is not a political blog, but...
Nader has been stirring up controversy here in Oregon, using petition signatures from mainly right-wing voters and the zealots at Oregon Family Council, to get on the Oregon ballot. And, Howard Dean calls him on it. And, if he had and shred of credibility left - he goes and gets his book published by Rupert Murdock. I wish I could suddenly talk in that political ad voice (which is also used to action movie trailers), and say - just like they do - "Ralph Nader, what exactly is your plan?"


And now for a moment of zen:

The new Miss Oregon has been crowned tonight. She then promplty rolled back her eyes and thanked her dark lord, Satan.

I feel so out-of-it. You see, I had to work the morning show. The early, early morning show. And, as a result of my lethargy, a life was lost.
Here are the highlights of my morning (italics denote internal monologue at-the-time):

10:00 PM - the night before
I lie in bed, trying to sleep.
What the f--k did I sign up for? I've never been asleep this early. Ever. Okay, I was once: after the Holiday Ale Fest this winter, but I was pretty really drunk then.

4:00 AM
Get up, open my eyes, and even though they're open, I still can't see. Eventually, I manage to sorta wake up - no thanks to my Irish Spring soap. After shot-gunning several cups of coffee (which is mouch safer than a the "keg stand" method, I initally envisioned), and soon start feeling ready to face the day.

4:25 AM
I pack a nice little bag, place my coffee thermos inside, and head out the door.
I'm off to great start!

4:30 AM
I soon discover that I didn't screw the thermos lid on correctly - thus, soaking everything in my bag with my morning latte. Everything is salvaged, except my trusty Canon Efph Powershot - the greatest little digital camera ever made.
Nooooo! How will I document my morning show adventure? With what....with words?

4:35 AM
Nearly run out of gas halfway up the hill to work. I coast back down, fill up, and then head back to work again.

4:45 AM
Arrive at the station. Who are all these people? Please don't talk to me. I don't know any of your names. I load up a live van, get ready to go, but have to wait for my reporter, Drew to get there.

5:00 AM
Still waiting.

5:15 AM
Reporter arrives. He says hello to me in the parking lot, and then I wait for the next 5 minutes.

5:20 AM
We leave in the live truck and head to Canby, Oregon.

6:00 AM
Arrive at the love shot location. It's a blueberry farm.
Oh man, this is weird. I was half-expecting to do a sex offender story.

6:01 AM - NOON
All a blur. I remember an overly-energetic reporter showing lots of stuff, asking crazy questions to migrant workers, and stuffing his face with blueberries. Beyond all that, I don't remember much else.

In the early afternoon, I'm released to enjoy the rest of my day. All in all, not to bad. And, while it was fun, I'm not ready to do it again anytime soon.

The infinite sadness:
I'm not calling it dead yet [see photo at top of post]. After all the coffee evaporates from the insides of the camera, it might magically work. It worked after I dropped it down a flight of stairs. It worked after I accidently threw it from a moving scooter in Las Vegas. It worked fabulously for several months with no working LCD screen. So, I'm not writing off my CCD coma baby just yet.

I've had that little camera in my pocket every day for almost 2 years. I've shot well over three thousand photos with it. And, with only 2 megapixels, it ran riot over all my friends and family's digital cameras. Little elph, I'm prying for you.

And, that is all for today. My laptop screen will now fly at half staff raised.

I'm at work, editing and taking photos of Olsen Twins dolls [see above]. I don't mind that I have to work today. It's safer that way. I'm afraid for my life (and property). I'm not afraid of fireworks, but rather the dumbasses with fireworks. And, since my personal car is a former police cruiser - people tend to enjoy shooting bottle rockets at me as I drive around.

It's not so bad here at the station. We got a BBQ going, and there is either fireworks, or that-Will-Smith-movie, Independence Day on every TV monitor.

New this week:
There's a new The Cure album. It's just dandy, and Robert Smith throws out the F*bomb a whole lot - getting angry in his old age. And, while all the songs kinda sound the same at first, I'm loving it.

Photo Jihad: resloved
At a recent summit this weekend, Hasser and I have agreed to disarm and end the photo jihad (before someone gets hurt). He cited the ballerina photo post, as a reason for the change in attitude. But, being Hasser - he decided to end the war and post a little video of me at the golf course.

But, in the spirit of keeping things even - here's a little video of him, drunk as all hell. Enjoy! [The Hass Attack]

Just watch out for the guns. They'll get ya.
For the general public - it's less than a week. For us in the Television industry - it's torture. I'm talking about the countdown to the premier of Anchorman! "You stay classy, America!"

Haven't been hitting the blog this week. Not that it's been a hard week at work or anything. Here's my list of assignments so far:
Monday: sex offender [video]
Tuesday: sex offenders [video]
Wednesday: special projects editing [whew!]

Not too bad. Although I predict my story assignment tomorrow will be something like...oh...I don't know...sex offenders?

Anyway, I've got no excuse for not updating. Although I have been doing some behind-the-scenes work. I added some more sidebar graphics - and a video menu. I also routed several of my domain names here (including llrobot.com). And I've been plotting MMORPG pranks...

MMORPG pranks.
Melinda (my partner in crime) and I were making note of all the recent Everquest expansions recently. I said something like, "Oh man. There's a new expansion coming out like every few months." Now, SOE has had some pretty kick-ass expansions come out, but we brainstormed what the next one might be like - and put our thoughts onto HTML. We present to you the latest EQ expansion, Legendary Beds of Norrath (be sure to check out the awe-inspiring trailer):



But, just when we thought we were so clever, Hasser pointed out some remarkable 'fan films/music videos' made from within the online games. Here's a link to the best of them: Ice Ice Baby recreated in the SWG universe [link takes you to a download page].


File under: rad
The trailer for the upcoming Blade sequel, Blade: Trinity came out Tuesday online. Trinity? I thought they were gonna call it Blade vs. Aliens vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason.

My man, Ebert, gave Spiderman 2 FOUR stars!

Drunken German flash game. Yeah, that sounds bad, but the game was made by Germans.

This is kinda weird: someone made a trailer for Office Space, but with Star Wars geeks in it. WTF?

Someone finally posted the SNL video, Old Glory Robot Insurance!

LLR mentioned on the uber-awesome TV blog, Lost Remote. Thanks!