schlotzsky's
Earlier I complained about some odd food choices in the South (cinnamon pork rinds). But there is one food-related thing that I'm just thrilled about: plenty of Schlotzsky's Deli. It's my favorite place to get a sandwich, and there was only a few of them in the Pacific NW.
Every time I eat at Schlotzsky's it reminds me of one of my most favorite memories ever. [I had hoped to someday sell this story to Schlotzsky's and become some kind of anti-Jared, but I don't think that'll ever happen.]
Here goes:
Back when I was a youngster, my mom brought home some videos and take-out for our evening enjoyment. This was the first time I ever ate a Schlotzsky's sandwich, and was amused at the ridiculous sounding name. I grabbed the giant styrofoam clamshell container, plopped myself down 2 feet from the television set, and began devouring my giant, meaty sandwich - which was enormous for a ten year-old. Thinking it was a good family film, my mom rented, National Lampoon's Vacation and popped it in the VCR.
Fast forward twenty minutes. The Griswold family are lost in St. Louis (or was it Philly?) and Chevy Chase pulls over to ask a guy on the street how to get back to the freeway. His response was to them was, "Go fuck your mama!"
The second I heard that, I did three things all at the same time: busted out laughing, started crying, and choking on my sandwich. I was hysterical. My mother must've thought I was dying or something. To this day, I can still remember choking, laughing, and crying for at good solid minute. And it took me hours to fully recover. I laid there on the floor, my face buried in shag carpet, and giggling with tears streaming down my face - thinking of the new phrase I was going to say to all the nuns at Catholic school. That was one of the happiest, most joyous moments of my life.
It's been well over twenty years since then, and I've never ordered anything other that the Schlotzsky's Original. I don't bother trying anything else on the menu because I know that I'm getting the perfect sandwich each time. And every time I take that first delicious bite I close my eyes, smile, and say to myself, "Go fuck your mama."
Good times.
Every time I eat at Schlotzsky's it reminds me of one of my most favorite memories ever. [I had hoped to someday sell this story to Schlotzsky's and become some kind of anti-Jared, but I don't think that'll ever happen.]
Here goes:
Back when I was a youngster, my mom brought home some videos and take-out for our evening enjoyment. This was the first time I ever ate a Schlotzsky's sandwich, and was amused at the ridiculous sounding name. I grabbed the giant styrofoam clamshell container, plopped myself down 2 feet from the television set, and began devouring my giant, meaty sandwich - which was enormous for a ten year-old. Thinking it was a good family film, my mom rented, National Lampoon's Vacation and popped it in the VCR.
Fast forward twenty minutes. The Griswold family are lost in St. Louis (or was it Philly?) and Chevy Chase pulls over to ask a guy on the street how to get back to the freeway. His response was to them was, "Go fuck your mama!"
The second I heard that, I did three things all at the same time: busted out laughing, started crying, and choking on my sandwich. I was hysterical. My mother must've thought I was dying or something. To this day, I can still remember choking, laughing, and crying for at good solid minute. And it took me hours to fully recover. I laid there on the floor, my face buried in shag carpet, and giggling with tears streaming down my face - thinking of the new phrase I was going to say to all the nuns at Catholic school. That was one of the happiest, most joyous moments of my life.
It's been well over twenty years since then, and I've never ordered anything other that the Schlotzsky's Original. I don't bother trying anything else on the menu because I know that I'm getting the perfect sandwich each time. And every time I take that first delicious bite I close my eyes, smile, and say to myself, "Go fuck your mama."
Good times.
2 Comments:
I wish I'd had as hilarious a reaction when I saw Adventures in Babysitting and Elisabeth Shue pulled the knife out of somebody's foot and said, "Don't FUCK with The Babysitter!"
You had to be there, I suppose.
No Schlotz in Seattle.
I HATE Seattle.
Miss my Schlotz.
Damn.
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