Back when I was in first grade, I remember seeing a bunch of boys at recess playing with metal Tonka trucks and stuff. So, the next day I brought my truck to the sandbox and asked if I play with them.

One of them said, "Yes, but you have to have a truck!" And, I said, "Oh, don't you worry. I have a truck," as I reached into my backpack and retrieved one of my most favorite toys: a die-cast metal school bus. I snatched it out of my bag and started wildly driving it all over the place. It took me a moment to realize that no one else was playing with me. They were all sitting there, mouths open, staring at me like I was from another planet.

"That's not a truck!" one of them said, "That's a school bus!" and they all laughed at me for the remainder of recess. I was outcast, and went over to play trucks with the unfortunate kid who happened to bring a plastic Snoopy motorbike that day.

All of this came rushing back to me this afternoon while I was out holiday shopping, and came across this car [see below] in the toy aisle.



I'm betting the kid who gets this will learn that that Santa doesn't really exsist, just moments after finding out what Viagra is - both while getting mercilessly teased on the playground.

Good times.