It wasn't uncommon amongst Native American tribes and other tribal cultures to condemn having their photo taken, fearing that the process somehow would steal their soul. I have a similar superstition. And yesterday the "soul collector" caught me...

I ended up in 'on the board'.



I have always successfully dodged the "get the know the team" board everywhere I've ever worked. At my last station, I murdered fought, bribed, and conspired to NEVER end upon the board. For some reason I've always thought it was dorky or something. Yesterday I was outmaneuvered when I unknowingly wandered into the promotions department of my own free will.

I thought I was getting my station ID taken, but it turns out that the same photo is used for the photo board.

Now I have no soul and I am forced to dwell in news-station-limbo...forever.

In a twelve short hours, my month-long vacation/sabbatical will come to an end when I walk through the doors of WYFF near downtown Greenville, and I join the Channel 4 news team.



Being a comic book geek, I couldn't help the resemblance of their logo to Marvel's Fantastic Four which - needless to say - made me grin like a dork. But, then when I realized that if I actually joined the Fantastic Four it wouldn't be part of the FOUR, since the team is already established. I'd be more like one of the other additional members, like She-Hulk or the occasional Silver Surfer - and that's not as exciting, I suppose.

Um...What was I talking about? Oh yeah, my new job.

I can't wait. I've spent the past few days getting all my stuff in order. Today's preparation involved me tearing through 26 boxes to find my social security card. Right now, I'm about to go pack a sensible sack lunch (which I'll forget to take) and get all my clothes all laid out for my first day at school work.

I'm glad to been joining such a well respected team, and getting back to rocking faces. And, I'll be able to blog about an actual job/life again, rather than my pretend job in Everquest 2.

This is something I never thought would happen. I'm in a weight room, working out. I gotta get in shape for my new job (I start Monday). Well, I don't excpect to get in shape in less than a week, but I'm building momentum, you know? I've spent the last two weeks riding the "thing-that-looks-like-skiing machine" and the "running-in-place machine" while I watch shows like American Idol and 24.

If there wasn't a TV: forget it.



As a news photographer, I've come to realize that I need to change my eating habits. If I don't take a sack lunch or make certain changes in my diet, then I'm gonna be eating the fast food all the time.

So, I've decided to ban the following fast-food resturants from my diet:

1. Carl's JR
2. Burgerville
3. Chipotle
4. Baja Fresh
5. White Castle

Considering that these places aren't in Greenville, I think I'll be able to stay on top if it pretty well.

I also have realized that I HAVE NO WILLPOWER when it comes to food, so I've decided to make the people around me do most of the hard work.

Thus the following rules for everyone around me:

1. If you see me drinking anything larger than a REGULAR sized soda you are allowed to smack it out of my hand or face - even if I am drinking it.

2. If you are behind me at a fast food drive-thru, I encourage you to ram my car, or at least push my car forward, away from the drive-up window.

3. Have some of my fries. You know I'm gonna order them. Just eat them. Don't ask. Help a guy out.

I think that should help out some.

*clunk*

Oh! Gotta go, my pop tarts are done!

I've never had this much time off. I've had three fascinating weeks off the daily news treadmill while I eagerly await my new assignement. I did work for a week at The Buzz, but it was in Orlando and kinda fun - so it doesn't count as work-work.

Here's a small sampling of what I've been up to (if you care):

1. I'm not gonna lie. I've been playing a ton of Everquest 2. My half elf bard needs to get paid, and the only way to do that is searching for magical butterflies in a gnoll infested dungeon for 6 hours a day. Some call it a "wasted life." I call it my day job.

2. Working on my parent's website. Mom, if you're reading this: I'm on it. No worries - disregard the part about me playing video games all day.

3. Reading a lot of Dukes of Hazzard Fan fiction. I had no idea this crap existed, but I'm perversely obsessed with it. I'm crafting my own story about Boss Hogg and a clandestine moonshine operation, at this very moment.

4. Catching up on Showtime's original series, Huff. While, somehow missing every episode of The OC since I moved.

5. After reading all Lost Remote's observations on a somewhat-brewing media blog backlash, I've been taking some time to decide where I'm going on this internet superhighway. It's a good thing considering that I'm launching a new website-blog, and I currently have a secret blog about comic books.

6. Job interviews [More on that later]. It'd be a bad idea to blog about interviews, first impressions, and all that - so I'll play it safe and practice some restraint. Like I said: more later.

I'm glad we had this time to catch up.
See you again soon.

/LL Robot

Sitting in an internet cafe.

It's been pretty rough without my internet connection over the last few days, but I'm getting through it. One of my neighbors has an unmanaged wireless router, but it's not even a strong enough of a signal to even try - and that helps me avoid the whole 'should I be stealing their internet' dilemma and all that.

Hopefully, I'll get a connection up in the next few days. In Greenville (or maybe my housing development) you don't just 'sign up for the internet'.

Nope.



You have to leave something for the Broadband Internet Fairy under your pillow at night, and hopefully the next day you'll have high speed internet access. [see above illustration]

In my case, I left an ethernet cable and PC card adapter. That should do the trick.

It's been a fun week at The Daily Buzz, and I think it went really well.



Next stop: Greenville

I'm still living from one hotel room to the next. Since my moving van hasn't arrived in Greenville yet, and I don't really have a job - I decided to hop on a plane to Orlando, Florida and pick up some freelance work for a week.

But this week, I'm no photographer. Hell no. I'm something much worse different.

I'm The Consultant.



I was hired by the national, sleeper-hit morning show, The Daily Buzz to do some editing/photography consulting. Although, I can't really tell you much more than that, due to client/consultant confidentiality privilege or whatever (see how professional I am, already!).

This whole job is kinda weird for me considering my ambivalence towards "wacky morning zoo crew" stuff, and my open mocking of media consultants (and their bizzarro visits). If you've never had the pleasure of meeting with a consultant, go rent Office Space and watch for the two Bobs.

Here are a few of my favorite consultant visits from the past:

1997 - My news room had a consultant-turned-news-director come in and have a meeting with the crew. He had all these weird old-school handouts with "zany" clip art. I don't think the handouts were even photocopied, I think they were mimeographed. Anyway, he had a thing where he told all of us, "People watch TV news for the BIG and LOUD words. If you were to show the important words on the screen, they'd be BIG and LOUD. Let's all talk that way for a minute..."

1999 - Former KPTV news director, John Sears had the entire staff come in one Saturday for a meeting with team of consultants. It went on forever, but they had some interesting things to say. Well, that was until they (*NO JOKE*) had us do trust fall exercises. "Okay, producers catch writers! Photographers catch reporters!" And, as if that was humiliating enough, they had us break into teams, adopt a PET EGG, dress it up, and then do a little skit about it for the rest of the news room. I think that defining moment was when I officially became such a hardcore photographer.

Also, I drew this [reproduced] sketch of one of the consultants that afternoon.



2003 - Eight months after our company merger, some consultant-types came in and talked to everyone about "how to cope in a time of change" (or how we should've coped, I guess). It wasn't all that bad, but one of the consultants talked in BIG and LOUD 'buzz words'. He used one [buzz word] so much that we changed that word to [dildo], and it made the rest of the afternoon the most vibrant and exciting presentation I've ever seen.

Anyway, I look back at all of this quite differently now, since I'm the one waving my arms wildly and giving unsolicited critiques to anyone within earshot. I even found myself doing something called a, "workflow analysis" a few hours ago. Seriously.





And, as I sit in the corner taking notes on my laptop, I realize that now I'm that weird consultant-dude that I drew that picture of six years ago. "Oh man. I am a total tool. I don't think I'm all that annoying, but maybe I've come across that way. Oh damn, I got a powdered doughnut all over my shirt. They're looking at me again. Stop talking to yourself. Okay I will. No, stop talking. Ok."



At about noon I finished up my work for the second day, made some small talk with folks, and then drove my rented Kia Odyssey to my hotel room. Moments ago, I plopped down into my chair with some white castle hamburgers and listened to the resounding silence of the La Quinta Inn.

*chirp chirp*

I think there's a moment that every young consultant learns a lesson, himself: consultants need love too.