Living in the Mill isn't all that bad. There's the occasional weird bug or late night fire alarm, but nothing too serious.

That was....until now.




Something truly frightening has moved in, across the hall from us. Something called:
"Lil' Miss Sassy Britches!"

[insert Psycho shower scene music here]




It's there, waiting...watching. I can just barely see it out the edge of our peep hole, and it's looking in my direction with some preternatural awareness, as if it knows I'm spying on it. I also have a feeling that it's wandering around outside my door, but somehow gets back into position a moment before I peek out the door to see what's out there.

It moved in a few days ago, and every morning it catches me by surprise. I forget that it's standing there and I suddenly catch glimpse of what seems to be one of the little dead girls from the Shining, out the corner of my eye.

Then I let out a sigh of relief and say, "Damn you, Miss Sassy Britches!" But, I quickly stifle my anger, force a little smile to my face, and back away, down the hall. Because I know it understands me.

And, I know someday...

...it will come to kill me.

A few weeks ago I was at my friend Dirk's wedding reception and somehow I ended up chatting with some folks about the Friday the 13th movies. Basically, this one guy was never allowed to watch them as a kid (and young adult) and started asking all these questions like, "So, it's like about a killer guy in a ski mask?"

Right away, I went into eight-grade geek mode and sighed, "Um..it's a hockey mask, and his name is Jason Voorhees."

Next thing I know there's just a bunch of drunk folks (like me) gathered around this table recounting the entire Friday the 13th saga to this poor guy. It kinda sounded like this [except way more drunk an incoherent]:

"Okay, so there's this weird mutant boy that drowns and his mother starts killing all the camp counselors around the camp as revenge. But, she gets her head chopped off and later on her son starts killing people and he gets killed but somehow comes back in the next movie and gets a hockey mask and then is later killed by a twelve year-old Cory Feldman. But then like later he's brought to life by lightning and is eventually killed again by Cory Feldman, but only it's a different actor now. But, then Jason is brought to life by a psychic who happens to spend her summer at the very same lake he was drowned in and bring him back to life. But, like it's okay because she kills him dead again, back into the lake. Except that a little while later there's a power line at the bottom of the lake that breaks and bring him back to life and he goes to Manhattan and kills people, but is later killed again by toxic waste. And then a few years later he's brought back from hell, but...um..Eventually killed again. And then 500 years in the future or something he's revived by space scientists studying the lake. Oh! but back in our time he's brought back from the dead by Freddie Krueger and they like fight and stuff."

Of course, when we were done rambling about all this, the guy was sitting there stunned, wishing he had never mentioned it. I got all embarrassed and said, "Well it seems a lot more plausible when you're actually watching the movies."

Anyway, Sideshow Collectibles has published a new book that would be a perfect carry-along item for such an occasion.



The person would say, "So, it's like about a killer guy in a ski mask?" and if you had the book you would respond, "Um..it's a hockey mask, stupid."

Then you would say, "Everything you need to know is right here in this book, Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th. Read the book, my son and learn the ways of Camp Crystal Lake."

Yeah, that's probably a much better way to talk about gory slasher films at a wedding reception.

Sad news on Friday. My grandpa passed away. He was a fun guy, and I'll miss him.



I had just got editing my cancer-related story, and the moment I was finished my cell phone rang. From the number and area code, I knew it wasn't good news. My grandpa lost his battle with cancer.

He was a fun grandfather. He used to call me "racin' Jason" when I was little because I'd always get hyped up on sugar and run all over the person like a crazy person. Hmm.. I guess that story would've been way cooler if I had grown up to be an olympic runner or something.

Anyway, he always laughed when I did bad things - which only encouraged me to act worse, and made him laugh harder. And, I think that helps partially explain how I turned out the way I did.

Peace out, Grandpa Robot.

Today my assignment was to interview "Super Size Me" director, Morgan Spurlock.



He was an engaging speaker and a really nice guy. The book signing took a little while because he took a genuine interest in every person that came up to him, and had some nice little conversations. His celebrity 'handler' (or whoever she was) said I couldn't do an interview, but he was cool and agreed to talk to me anyway.

Really nice and he deserves whatever success comes his way.

Here's an excerpt from his blog, previewing today's visit:

"Tomorrow I speak at Presbyterian College in Clinton, SC and the University of South Carolina in the same day. By tomorrow night I should be pretty beat, but it's great to get out and actually talk to the kids who are where I was 15 years ago ... young and full of hope, passion and drive (not yet warped, angry and jaded by the world at large ... don't wory though kids, those days are soon to come!)"

I know what's down the hatch.



You see, I watched the entire Lost season one boxed set over this weekend. So, today I went to the various lost message boards to see if anyone else was had a similar theory that I developed yesterday involving eyeballs (don't ask - I'll tell you later). And, by accident...I stumbled across the answer to one of the show's most burning questions, "what's in that damn hatch?"

Well, now I know.
I guess I would've know two days from now anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.
But now I'm already thinking ahead to make sense of why the [whatever] is down there. And, I'm about to go find more theories about the thing I haven't even actually-technically seen yet.

So, I guess I know what's in the hatch, but I don't really know what's in the hatch. That make sense?

/sigh

This show causes madness.


[note: I found my spoiler by clicking through a series of random forum links, but most people have been stumbling across it on ABC's own website. Oops.]

It's finally happened.

The barrier has been breached.

Gillette announced today that they're upping the ante and releasing a five blade razor.



From money.cnn.com:

"The razor, known as the Fusion, has blades spaced 30 percent closer than Gillette's current MACH3Turbo system. It also has a single blade on the back of the cartridge for shaving sideburns or trimming under the nose."

"The Fusion will also be available in a power version and features a micro-chip that regulates the voltage and blade action. Other high-tech features include a low battery indicator light and a safety switch that shuts the razor down after eight minutes of continuous operation."

Some of you may remember my rant, upon purchasing the Gillette M3 Power Nitro a few months back. Talk about ADD! They just came out with that thing, and they're already sending them to the landfills?

Anyway, this is all I have to say on the topic: we've come too far too fast. Slow down with all crazy-ass extreme Mountain Dew flavors and CSI spin-offs. Is the world really ready for a five blade razor with a vibrating handle? I guess we'll soon find out. It should arrive shortly after my XBOX 360.

And, one final thought:

FIVE BLADES!

WTF?

[one more final thought/prediction: next year...5 blade razors, loaded with itunes, and digital camera.]

A few weeks back I was asked to put together some CD's for our Friday night football show. People from around the station emailed song suggestions for the soundtrack, and it was interesting reading the suggestions and then saying, "That dude listens to metal?"



Anyway, as I was assembling the CD (which consisted mosty of instrumental Dre and Lil Jon tracks), Andy Still, the News Director came into my edit bay with his suggestions.

"I have some CDs if you want me to bring them in," he said. I graciously agreed, and then he mentioned, "I listen to a lot of electronic music, you know. Dirty Vegas, Fatboy Slim, Daft Punk, Crystal Method..."

Being a big electro-fan, I was floored. My news director listens to the same music I do? The exact same genre, even! My last two news directors were like only 4 years older than me and they didn't even listen to the same stuff. But, Andy - who is like 20 years older than me, was dropping more band names than a nightclub DJ. How rad is that?

And he even brought in a Deep Dish album I didn't have - which is the point of this whole post. I forgot to give the CD back, and he came asking about it yesterday. I was all, "Oh, snap! I'll give it back to you tomorrow. Sorry."

So, tonight I'm assembling a little electronic mixtape to go accompany the CD when I return it - sorta like interest on my loan. Audiophiles swapping music. I'm told he listens to techno mostly when he's working out.

That's enough information to get me started...

A lot of planning went into the execution of this CD. This thing is for my boss. It can't be like the whiny, besotten mixtape I made (but never gave) to Gillian Lange back in the 10th grade. There's no room on this thing for The Cure or Morrissey. And, it's probably a wise decision to avoid songs with a noticable number of swear words. Also, there shouldn't be a bunch of songs that have an underlying theme about "quitting work" or "sticking it to the man".

Here's what I came up with:



Rather tame. Nothing that controversial. The worst is "Rippen Kitten" ("Mommy, can I go out and kill tonight?"), and it's rather upbeat for a song about going out and killing the neighbors.

Another fine mixtape, from LL Robot!

Woke up tonight, to find this crawling on my arm.



I felt what must've been the weird antennae wiggling around, and I landed a swift, brutal smack onto the unwanted visitor. After turning on the light, I found this thing - which I can only determine is some kind of grasshopper, cricket, or possibly a miniature velociraptor.

The closest (and most unassuring) thing I could find on the internet, is this cricket-type bug. After that, the next closest insect would be from Starship Troopers.



At this point, I can't get back to sleep. I'm going to go slay giant bugs in Everquest 2 until I fall asleep in front of the monitor.

First day back from vacation and there was an explosion at the local chemical plant. I spent the first half of the day driving around getting school evacuations, and the other half with the live crew - inhaling the foulest, brain-cell-killing smell (imagine skunks, pine-sol and trolls all mixed together).



It's been an hour and I have a weird, little headache from being by the plant. [I'm sure it's fine. *cough* *cough*] It was a crazy day, but it's nice to be back to work.

I'm off to PDX for the week! I'll be checking email, but I have no idea if I'll get around to post. See y'all later.