Being that today is Friday (and I’m leaving soon), Hendon and I wanted to make sure we squeezed-in another meeting of the “Lunch-n-Guns” club. Today’s plan was supposed to be “Chik-Fil-A and an A.K.” mainly because it rhymed, but also because we wanted to eat chicken sandwiches and then fire-off a sub-machine gun.
Instead we decided to go with an AR-15, and found a considerable amount of joy in blasting the masked hoodlum on the target. This guy was wearing a ski mask and a flannel shirt, while holding a pistol to the face of a MILFy looking lady from the late 1970’s.
My ears are still ringing from all the blasting that we did. I’m also still chucking because a woman was at a nearby counter purchasing a rifle and Hendon whispered to me, “Hey, that chick right there is pretty hot, don’t you think?” while we were wearing protective earmuffs. He had to speak so loud to even hear his own voice that the gun club pretty much heard it, so I really had to sell my affirming nod when everyone looked at me for my response.
While going through boxes of old junk I came across a curious, dusty old VHS tape. I recognized it straight away as an old home video, and gingerly loaded it into the equally-dusty video player. Excelsior! I found the fabled, “UFO Alien Talk show” home movie - which is so awesomely terrible that I can’t even muster up the nerve to post it just yet.
However, on the same tape, I found a bonus video that I had completely forgotten about until watching the tape twenty years later. So now I present to you the eighth grade version of myself pretending to be a news anchor (complete with pop-up annotations - be sure to turn them on on the right corner of the YouTube viewer window).
Now you could look at this video as say, “He knew even then that he wanted to work in television news!” but I think that it’s probably more accurate to say, “I knew, even then, that I wanted to make weird home movies for the rest of my life.”
If you thought this was painful then you have no idea what is in store for you when I get the martian movie ready to upload. It is Nutrageous, my friends. I promise you that.
Now that we’re just over two months away from the general election in November, I though it’d be a perfect time to examine a past election - which never happened because it’s completely fictional, and took place in an alternate reality to that fictional universe. Back in 1981, Marvel comics’ The Watcher asked the question, “What if Captain America had been elected President?”
This thrilling issue (What if? #26) examines Captain America’s run for the White House after being asked to join the New Populist Party as their presidential candidate. This was not an easy decision for Cap, and he sought the advice of three of the smartest members in Avengers history. Iron Man thought it was kinda ridiculous, while Yellowjacket, Beast, and Vision remained silent on the issue. It’s important to note that none of them would’ve made a very good running mate: Tony Stark (Iron Man) had his alcohol problems, Hank Pym (Yellowjacket) beat his wife, and it could be argued that neither Beast nor Vision were technically human - a requirement at the time that was necessary to become President of the United States
He eventually decided that America needed a change, and on the evening of the NPP convention Cap threw his cowl into the running. The media went wild with the news, and rumors soon floated around that Spiderman would be Cap’s top pick as a running mate. Eventually he tapped Washington outsider, Senator Andrew Jackson Hawk to be his veep. Being that Captain America has a high level SHIELD clearance, the vetting process for a running mate would have been quite thorough (The GOP could’ve used Nick Fury’s help last week when vetting Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin). Their campaign slogan, “America’s choice for the 80’s” was quickly plastered all over New York City, since that’s where 90% of the events in the Marvel Universe take place. [click to continue...]
Many political pundits - from both sides of the aisle - have been sounding off about Alaska Governor turned VP candidate, Sarah Palin. Now Bad Boy Records is weighing in. I absolutely love this video of Sean “Diddy Combs (aka “Sir Rock Obama”) going off on John McCain about choosing Sarah Palin as his VP pick. You have to get through some motion sickness, but it’s worth it to hear “John you are buggin’ the f^%k out”. Diddy has an Obama blog, who knew? [source: huffpo]
Time to peek inside another box, and this time it’s a box full press credentals that I’ve collected over the years. I’m both saddened that the N*sync and Ricky Martin backstage passes are hidden from view.
Additionally, I have noticed a weird and disturbing trend as I sorted through more boxes this afternoon. Strewn amongst the contents of every random box are printed out Everquest maps. Back in the day the EQ crew from KPTV would spend all evening printing maps and quests for each other at work, and then we’d rush home to play the game afterwards. I probably dropped 5lbs from our shipping weight by eliminating all that geekery.
While packing up the condo this weekend, I came across a ton of curious boxes that I felt compelled to document. The first in my new photo series “a box full of…” is a box full of random Star Trek figures. And while you can’t really get a sense for how many there are, let me assure you that it’s f–king ridiculous. I know this. At some point in my life I obviously had far too much time and way too much disposable income. And the sad thing? Many of those figures came out after I graduated college. I’ll say it again: ridamndiculous.
UPDATE: Due to a database error, I've had to reinstall 18 months of Wordpress posts - which are like 65% there, but without comments and trackbacks. I'm still working on getting everything back.
