I never thought I would have to go home with a note.

    I arrived to my classroom early that morning at the Divine Redeemer Catholic School. After unpacking my backpack and eating the pudding cup in my lunch four hours ahead of schedule, I found my seat in the back of the room. My sweaty little hands eagerly clutched a small stack of notebook papers. After a short eternity, the bell rang and class finally began. Anxiously, my feet kicked and jolted around as I near-patiently waited for my turn in front of the class.
    Then my name was called.
This was it. The show is on.
I calmly walked to the front of the room, unfurled my papers, and began my speech.
“I would like to take this time to talk about my hero, Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander is the leader of COBRA, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world…”
To be honest, I’m not sure if my speech even got that far. As soon as I said, “Cobra Commander” the sisters descended upon me faster than you could say, “inappropriate behavior.” And, I was sent down the hallway to talk to the headmistress, Sister Joan.
After a half-hour of hopelessly arguing my case, I was sent home with a note. All because I identified with a fictional terrorist, rather than my parents, teachers, or even Jesus.

The Life and Times of Cobra Commander:

    Stuck in a dead end job as a used car salesman, and disillusioned with the “American Dream” the future Cobra Commander discarded his identity, in trade for metal mask. Through ambition and treachery, he made contacts and amassed a small fortune to fund his fledgling terrorist organization, COBRA. After aligning himself with the notorious arms dealer, Destro, and a handful of European industrialists, Cobra Commander’s terror machine caught full steam. COBRA’s influence stretched around the globe, destabilizing small governments and world financial institutions. And there was the terror: chemical warfare, hijackings, unleashing experimental technologies, and widespread mayhem.

 


   
But how does Cobra Commander measure up in a post 911 world? The answer would have to be: less terrifying. After September 11th, 2001 this country’s view of terrorism came sharply into focus. Hijacking and crashing three passenger planes into buildings was barely conceivable, yet proved to be horribly effective. And in the wake of those terrible days, we’ve come to learn that terror also thrives in silence, as the Department of Homeland Security recently shifted our nation’s terror alert level to orange.
   Cobra Commander was many things, but silent was never one of them. He was constantly breaking into network television to issue ultimatums and terms of surrender. His plans were always epic in scale, but now seem even more farcical with today’s new world view. In his hooded uniform Cobra Commander was a subtly menacing, but in Osama Bin Laden we saw the face of terrorism take shape. His extreme religious motives make for a much scarier and out-of-control villain. The world has been changed forever, and today’s children will now grow up with real-life monsters making threats on the television.


Present day COBRA:

Now that GI JOE is back in print, thanks to Josh Blaylok and Devil’s Due Publishing, Cobra Commander has more of an edge to him. In the Marvel comic his bark was worse than his bite, but he definitely had a evil streak in him. Even worse, the TV cartoon made him out to be a egomaniacal priss (thanks, in part, to his pansy voice) who would like nothing more than to spend a billion dollars to carve his face on the moon with a giant laser. But, those days are over. Present day COBRA has an arsenal of new technology on their side, not to mention, the internet. Now Cobra Commander can send emails, and I think that alone will make his organization more efficient.

    It’s been just over twenty years since that day in grade school. I still haven’t forgotten my childhood obsession for COBRA, but I have a better understanding about what makes a hero. It’s someone who makes a difference and doesn‘t give up. But, that doesn’t mean I still won’t cheer for the villain, every once in a while.

Cobra!

/robot

 

 

 

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